Yay! Potato(e)s!

http://www.reuters.com/article/inDepthNews/idUSN0830529220080415?feedType=RSS&feedName=inDepthNews&rpc=22&sp=true

Corn on the rise? Have no fear the potato is here! It's such a versatile food product I could eat it any time of the day. Ever had potato flavored ice cream? No? Well why would you it tastes terrible (trust me) but with a little ketchup... yumbos!

I look forward to the day when potatoes become our new currency... and why wouldn't they with the devaluation of currency.

"Hey pretty sweet iPod! How much did that set you back?"

"Oh about a medium bag of french (freedome) fries. Ran out of biggies or else I would have gotten the 16gig."

California encouraging you to buy high-alcohol spirits...

http://cbs13.com/local/beer.tax.california.2.697609.htm

Oh California, why must you make me hate you so? I want to love you for your beaches, your golden gates, your tall redwoods, your short midget actors in Hollywood, and abundance of San Francisco hobos. What makes you think I want to pay more for beer though? All you are doing is encouraging me to buy hard alcohol.

A California lawmaker (I don't want to name names but let's just call him A. Hole) wants to increase the beer tax from $.02 to $.30... oh my GOD!!! (every letter is capitalized for EFFECT). Seriously if you want me to drink Bacardi 151 just tell me up front. Don't tease me and try to move me towards the hard liquor by slowly increasing the price of beer. How dare you! That's it I give up on you California, please don't up the beer tax and make me want to smack you. Why do you make me do this? I'm sorry baby I'll never do it again. Oh don't worry about California... it just walked into wall and then fell down some stairs...

Chris' Pussy

So I drove all the way to Chris' house with a full-size bed precariously positioned on the roof of my car, and when I mean positioned I mean, sliding off my roof on the 580 (that's a freeway you Socal douche bags...) So I finally get to Walnut Creek (which has neither walnuts, nor a usable creek) and I lug this bed up an effing concrete staircase and open the door... what do I see? Chris' pussy staring at me dripping wet with saliva... scratching me, biting me, jumping at me... very unbecoming of a pussy of her breed. I suppose it is because she has yet to be snipped, but even so, what a pussy. Now she sits here, comfortable in her nylon tent... silently judging us. I only pray that I will make it through the night. Perhaps if I don't move she can't see me... like Tyrannosaurus Rex.

People proving their namesakes...

http://www.stuff.co.nz/stuff/4468527a28.html



"Boring couple sue Google over photos"

Wow... what a great news story. Jay Leno's writer's are salivating right now just thinking of all the "boring" jokes they can make. Man am I glad the writer's strike is over so we can get quality like that.

Anywhoozle, apparently a Pennsylvania couple is suing Google and its StreetView application for taking photographs of their house, claiming it is devaluing their property. Because you see, their property is sooo private, and sooo exclusive that no one should even know its there. And what is their main gripe? They believe Google drove up their driveway to get the pictures, as it shows the private road sign, or something. What the Borings (hehehe.... it may never get old.) are failing to realize is that cameras are actually good enough that you can zoom in on the picture. Google does not have the time, nor do they really care, to drive up everyone's driveway to take pictures of you playing croquette with faux intellectual friends.

And actually at looking at the pictures above its very clear just how "exclusive" and "private" this land actually is. I mean just look at that masterful landscaping. Also apparently "private" driveway means only that the house sits back 200 feet from the road. Maybe buy some trees if you want privacy... dumbass.

To you the Borings of the world I say.. shut your mouth and accept progress. Don't hold back interconnected enlightenment because of your own draconian ideas about privacy. Suck it down and close the windows if you're going to cheat on your wife with her sister.