Starbucks closing stores but still more than willing to serve ridiculously sized coffee milkshakes to your children for breakfast

http://seattlepi.nwsource.com/business/1310ap_starbucks_closings.html

Ok I admit that was a very long title for a quite boring article. Starbucks is closing stores, 600 to be precise, that is quite terrible news to hear. I can't believe that I might have to walk 2 more blocks to get to the next one, or across the mini-mall parking lot to the "fake" Starbucks in Safeway. It's a very sad day for us all.

Of course Starbucks always the public relations guru blames the stagnant U.S. economy on the reason for the closers. People just can't afford over-priced gas and over-priced coffee, they need to save money for over-priced clothing after all. Now the funny thing about all this is that 70% of these store closures are going to be stores opened after the beginning of 2006. So rather than admit they might be over-expanding their shitty brand, they blame the economy as if to say, "We hate you American government, standing in the way of your citizens getting the coffee they want, nay, deserve to be drinking on a thrice daily basis."

My solution is this: add a $2.00 tax for drinking to every Frappuccino sold and you can fix the economy in less than 5 years. I already have a name for it, "The Fat Douchebag Economic Reform Act" (I realize some slender people drink them but they probably still have high cholesterol).